Do Not Contact Your Ex After Break Up
By Dr.Lynn | March 2, 2010
Usually after a separation, among the first things you try to manage is to contact them. You leave voice mail messages, call them constantly, send lots of text messages to them and even try to come out where you’ll know they will be. They think that if they can just tell them how they feel and appeal to them it will be ok and work itself out. While this may work during a functioning relationship, once a separation occurs this is a bad plan.
Why is this not going to work? The rules have changed a little now. Your ex may not prefer to have anything to do with you and they will be hurting as very much like you are. It’s easy to mention recent wounds and escalate current arguments without first having some space from one another. You’re much more likely to push them further away than to make them to return to you with an aggressive approach of contact just after separating.
Attempting to reconnect to them early will also give the perception that you are needy and desperate. This is never a good perception to have and especially not with the person you’re tirelessly chasing to come back into your life. Remember, as much as you’re hurting now they are going to be hurting just as much. You both need some time apart to figure things out.
The period of time for no contact is about one month minimum. This is not a strict rule, but one which is in your benefit to do. The time you are separated will give you both time to think of the relationship, what failed, and above all, what you are able to do to fix it. You will also be thinking much clearer after being separated this long and should find it easier to get them to talk to you and work things out. At last, it’s better to wait, reflect, then exercise a plan than to rush in and hope it can be mended tomorrow.
Originally posted 2009-08-20 07:11:45. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
Topics: Lover | 1 Comment »
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August 26th, 2009 at 1:07 am
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